The Cycle of Connection

My booth at the Artists' Market

Over the past few weeks, I've been especially aware of the different stages and intensities of my connection with life.  It's interesting to watch the cycle of our connection with our higher selves, our Source, God - whatever we choose to call it.  We connect beautifully for a while, then we disconnect, and then we connect again, and disconnect... over and over and over.  I suppose this cycle of union is the process of life - always reaching for the connection and holding it for as long as we can, until perhaps we stumble, trip, and fall away from it. 

Flower magnets, bottles, ornaments, etc.

When we are connected to Source, our days seem effortless, easily flowing, and happy.  When we aren't feeling that union with Source, our days seem stuck, overwhelming, unbalanced, stressful.  I'll give you an example of what I mean.



My sweet mom and dad and Erin at Artists' Market

 Three weeks ago, I was creating all kinds of goodies to sell at the Artists' Market that happened this past weekend.  I was feeling good - really into it, feeling the flow of life coursing through my veins, loving the process of realizing a vision in my head and bringing it to form.  And then, like the flip of a light switch, I was disconnected.  I was looking around me completely overwhelmed with what I had to accomplish in time for the show, and wondering how I could possibly continue balancing my busy life of homeschooling, mothering, "wifing," "friendshipping," housekeeping, and "artsing."

Could I hold it all together, or would my balance un-evenly lean me too far over?  Would I fall on my face?  Had I cooked a good meal for my family recently?  Not really.  Had I spent enough one-on-one time with my kids?  Not to my liking.  Had I had more than a two minute conversation with my husband?  Nope.  Had I been a good friend?  I don't think so.  Had I been wearing the same jeans for a week because I hadn't done laundry?   Yes.  It was like I was happily cruising on my bike one minute, and then tripping over a rock and loosing my balance the next minute.  I laid on the ground looking around me and wondering, "how did life get out of hand so fast?" 

Park Circle - where my artwork is being displayed

But eventually, I got up off the ground, re-connected as best I could to find my balance, and I got back on the bike.  O.k., it was working....  Two weeks ago, I was setting up an art display in Park Circle, North Charleston, feeling pretty good about myself.  I had cooked a few good meals.  I had spent some fun times with the kids and managed to homeschool every day that week.  I even managed to mop my floors and spend some time with Terry.  "I got it going on," I thought.  I even created space for meditation and prayer.  "This is good.  I can be balanced and connected to my life - no prob!"

And then, my son became sick.  Here we go again...  DISCONNECT... Then, a few days later, I became sick perfectly timed to accompany my daughter's birthday week... BIG DISCONNECT... there I was trying to create this beautiful time for my daughter and failing miserably.  Feeling like a big, fat, grumpy snot factory with a fever and a fake smile.  I realized when I was in the midst of sickness that I was completely severed from life... from Source... from any sense of well-being.  But then, a few days later, I woke up and couldn't wait to see my kids.  I knew I was back in the game.  I felt alive again.  I felt life trickling through me much more than the day before.  "Yippee," I thought.  Getting back on the bike and pedaling again...  CONNECT!  SHE SCORES!!!  

This past weekend... Somewhat connected again... ahhhhhh.  Deep breath.  Artists Market completed... CHECKMARK.  Slumber party completed... CHECKMARK.  Six batches of rice crispy treats and coaches gifts finished... CHECKMARK, seeing my wonderful parents who were in town... making it happen...CHECKMARK.  Finally sitting on the couch with my kids and just hanging... CHECKMARK.  About fifty percent connected is better than 0%.  I'll take it. 

And then, tonight, as I write this, BIG DISCONNECT.... again.  I'm sick again, my son is sick again, and now my daughter is sick.  So at this point, what else can I do but chuckle and realize that life is one big cycling of balancing the intensity and the consistency of our connection to Source.  And it's okay.  We've got to chuckle about it or we'll go crazy.  It's okay to be 50% connected one day and the next 0% connected.  It's those days that graciously guide us to be thankful for the 51% days, and the 70% days, and the 100% days.  And yes, there WILL be lots of 100% days again!  

I think I've learned in these past few weeks, that it's okay to be right where I am.  Yes, I will try for that connection, but some days and weeks, it's just not gonna happen, and it's okay.  Life is a process.  Life is a process of managing and balancing our union with Source.  But I've also realized that if I can put more effort into staying connected on a regular basis, the external complexities of life, such as a busy schedule or a sick family, or bad news tossed our way, won't trip me and throw me off balance as much.  If I can take little moments throughout each of my days to acknowledge my Source - just a quick hello- a prayer here and there - a "thank you" now and then - I am steadily strengthening my endurance.  I am training myself to live in the flow of Source without being tripped up by life's sticky situations.  My power to deal with life's ebb and flow will be internally connected to the greatest power.  I'll be rooted well and not so "trippable." 

So today, although the balance and connection to Source isn't where I would like it to be, I am thankful for standing exactly where I am.  I am learning how to gain endurance in balancing my connection with Source right where I am.  And there is no greater reward than being rooted in the most magical and abundant power of all.  Tomorrow is a new day.  It may be a 30% connection to Source, it may be a 99% connection.  Either way, I'm trying, and I'm proud of myself for trying. 

I hope for you a very connected week, or at least a really good attempt at it!

I appreciate your visit!

Stacey