Creating Space - Part 1

Moon Marsh

When was the last time you took some time for yourself?  Think about this.  I don't mean the last time you took the extra five minutes to shave your legs in the bathtub.  I don't mean reading a book at the end of the evening when you can only last five minutes before falling asleep.  I'm also not talking about checking your e-mails or playing on Facebook for an extra 15 minutes.

These are all good ways to steal a bit of time for yourself, and bravo for doing it, but I'm not sure we should have to "steal" time in our own lives.  I'm wondering... if we are in charge of our lives  - which we are - then are we able to create our days the way we want them to go... at least for the most part? I'm speaking about taking time for ourselves in a different way... one where we actually and intentionally create s p a c e  in our lives that isn't already planned and filled to the brim.  I'm referring to carving out bits of time with no agenda.  Space just to "be."

Here's a quote I'm really liking...

"Imagination needs moodling -

long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling,

and puttering."

- Brenda Ueland 

"Inefficient," "idling," "dawdling," and "puttering"... I bet that we haven't allowed these words into our lives in a very, very long time.  Perhaps we could think about being more deliberate in creating boundaries for our lives.  We have the opportunity to choose the people, events, and things that we want in our lives, and a great way to manage this is by creating space - or "padding" throughout our days.  Padding that we sprinkle throughout our days - space that is not filled with any requirements, any limitations, any "thing" we have to do.  Just space. 

And, yes, of course there is always some thing that we SHOULD do, (there's that word "should"), and I know that moms of young children are laughing at me right now... I know, I've been there too... shaving your legs IS making space in the toddler stage,  but if we aren't going to create space in our lives, certainly no one else will create it for us!  Often times we look around, and we're literally spinning because life is pulling us by the pants and giving us a total wedgie when we wish that we were just walking along nice and easy.  Get off the crazy train I say!  It is up to us to believe that we can form our hours, days, and weeks as we would like them to go.  


I've found an amazing transformation in my life since I started homeschooling my kids.  We actually have time in our day.  Time to just be... to just putter and think and dawdle and "moodle."  I can "pad" my day so that even if we do have an event or two to attend, even if things don't go well and we get off of track, the padding is still there as a buffer...  so we don't get uptight because we're late, and we don't feel rushed all the time. 

I find that creating space is especially important for our kids because they want time to figure out what they like and how they choose to spend time.  Space allows them to figure out who they are.  And they know this better than we do because they are excellent at moodling, aren't they?  I know not everyone can or wants to homeschool, and I just use this as an example as to how creating space has worked for us, but I think that no matter what your situation is, you do have a say in how you create your days and in how you make space for you and your family.  


We grown ups are the most "space" challenged.  For so long we've been on "multi-tasking auto-pilot" that if we sit down and "just be" for five minutes we don't know what to do with ourselves.  It feels almost wrong or at least really strange to do nothing.  And I know first hand because I am not a sitter.  I enjoy having a plan of accomplishment at all times.  And I like multi-tasking in order to get it all done.  That's kind of sad really because we simply need a break from it.  We simply need space to breath and think and re-evaluate and laugh and play... and listen to that inner voice that I talk about here.    


I really like this quote ....

"Music is the space between the notes."
- Claude Debussy


If we only have the notes (the activity of our life), and we don't have the space between the activity, there can't be balance.  The music is off.  The spaces are what hold the song together... give the song its form and shape... make it unique.   

Perhaps start slowly.  Give yourself a few extra minutes of padding between the events in your day.  Then after you've created some extra transition time throughout your days, start dedicating larger pieces of time dispersed throughout your calendar... just write in the word "space." Don't even think about how you'll spend your space time... don't think about how it's going to go... don't plan a thing.  When the time comes to use that space, just use it to "be."  And whatever comes to you in that allotted time, go with it.  You can't do it wrong!  And if you find yourself freaking out, like I sometimes still do, thinking of all the things you COULD be doing during your space time, focus on staying present and in the now.  Be aware of what is happening right this minute... not before or after.  

Blue Ridge Mountains

So, today I intend to take time to first breath... then create space throughout my day so that I have time to be in the now and listen.  I want my day to be balanced with the notes and the spaces of life.

Have a great week!  I appreciate your visit.

Stacey